I am a classic laggard when it comes to adopting new technology. I resist changing any form of technology. I especially hate changing my laptop. For me, it means having to transfer files, export and import my bookmarks and re-login to the hundreds of sites for most of which I have forgotten the passwords of.

So resistant am I that I am one of the very few people who still listens to certain audio tracks via my mp3 player called Zen by Creative. Yes, an mp3 player. Just let that sink in for a moment.

I am also one of those people who will use a piece of technology until they stop manufacturing or supporting it. Hello to fellow Nokia 3310 users who refused to join the smartphone nation till it became an absolute must.

Resistance to changes

At multiple points in our life we have things we want to change.

Whether it is new year’s resolutions, healthy habits, financial goals, we all have things we want to change or improve on but most of us will find it difficult to make certain changes in our lives.

This resistance exists is despite knowing that the changes are beneficial to us. Most of us can stand to lose a few pounds, eat better, save more money for a rainy day or be more active.

Yet, there is a part of us that seem to resist. Many smokers know they should quit smoking. Many people who party hard know that they need to cut back on their drinking. There are also many who spend beyond their means and know that they should spend less.

We resist changes not only to habits but to major life decisions as well. For example, how many people do you know who resisted breaking off a toxic relationship? Some take months, many take years.

Knowledge is not the problem. We know what needs to change and many are also quick to admit that they need to make changes to their lives. Yet, plenty still do not.

Why do we resist change?

We resist change mostly out of fear of the unknown, fear of uncertainty in the outcome but there is more. According to the psychologist Shaul Oreg, there are four main factors to consider when it comes to change resistance:

(a) routine seeking,

(b) emotional reaction to imposed change,

(c) short-term focus, and

(d) cognitive rigidity.

Routine seeking

We seek routine because we like certainty over our day and our time. We like to know what we are doing every day and many of us feel more at ease with predictability than introducing a new element to our day. This is why we like to eat the same breakfasts, why we go to the same restaurants and some even holiday at the same destinations every year. For example, we might be extremely bored with tv watching but when we try to watch less tv, we don’t really know what else to do.  Routine feels familiar and comfortable, change, not so much.

Emotional reaction to imposed change

When we get used to things like our daily routine, it gets easier to do it. Most of us have certain routines and tasks that we carry out in our daily lives and at work and even with our family. We do them every day and the familiarity allow us to plan our day and how we go about our tasks. Once again, routine feels comfortable. Now, when we are asked to change however, it is usually met with negativity.

When someone else create changes to our routine, we usually see it as an annoyance and sometimes changes also create stress for us. This is regardless of whether the change is good or bad. For example, in the workplace, we are all notoriously bad when it comes to adopting a new process or adhering to a new regulation or worse, getting used to a new brand of coffee in the pantry.

Short-term focus

As I mentioned above with regards to my love/hate relationship with changing technology, I have a short-term focus on change when it comes to new tech. When I am faced with the choice of changing to a new laptop or phone, I will defer it till I absolutely must because all I see is the hassle of the change and not the long-term benefits.

Many people also face the same conflict when it comes to lifestyle changes. It is easier to feel the torture of the workout today than the health benefits of a healthier cardiovascular system.

Cognitive rigidity

Are you the sort of person who are rigid with your opinions and views, or perhaps you know someone like that? You just can’t change their minds even if the facts are presented to them right under their nose. Most of us operate under our own worldview and cognitive rigidity stops people making changes because it challenges their belief system. An easy example of this is asking people to change their political or religious views, need I say more?

How can we overcome the resistance?

1.    Build a new routine

Most of the changes we want in life requires consistent effort. Perhaps you want to start a business, write a book, save more money, lose some weight. In all of these changes, one of the first things we need to do is come up with a routine that works for us and gives us that sense of predictability and control we like.

For example, if you wanted to write a book, you wouldn’t just write one day and call it a day. You would need to find time to write consistently and regularly, to do so you would set up some kind of a routine so that writing becomes a predictable task rather than an inconvenience every time. You would probably set a certain time to write and possibly even the location. Then you might need to change some of your other tasks around that writing routine or incorporate it into your current routine. But either way, you will need to build a new routine.

2.    Remind yourself of your why and your what

For a sustainable change to occur, you must change how you feel about it. You and I are familiar with how painful change seems at first. We want to eat a donut but have to choose a salad instead. We want to sleep in but have to choose to get up and ready for the gym. We want to dump our loser boyfriend or girlfriend, but we are afraid of being alone.

Every change hurt at first, even those that are good for us. You need to remind yourself of what it is you want from the change. That is your why my friend.

3.    Acquire the info you need

Often, we revert to the old faithful because we do not have enough information about what the change will entail and the benefits it could bring us. If you need more info to get started, go ask people or find out from books, online, wherever you prefer to get your info.

Again, like going to the gym, you might feel reluctant to go because you aren’t sure how the machines work. Find out online, ask a trainer. Need the science behind weight loss instead of following celebrity diets blindly, good for you, go get the info.

Don’t get stuck in the mud because you don’t know enough to make a decision or to change your mind.

4.    Simplify your choices

When we are pressured to make a choice say to make a purchase, it is easier to decide when we have fewer choices. More choices lead to paralysis by analysis. We overanalyse and then, nothing. We walk away. Same for changing our habits. If you want to eat healthier, get a few ingredients, not a whole pantry full of ingredients and then decided what you are going to cook from it. Make one or two small changes at a time and not tackle a whole life overhaul all at once. If you have a million things you need to do, choose a few impactful tasks and concentrate on those.

Here’s a bonus when it comes to overcoming change resistance:

One of the things that is not as widely discussed is the identity part. How we see and define ourselves influences how we behave and act. If you saw yourself as a person who is a procrastinator, guess what, you are going to procrastinate.

However, if the narrative about yourself changes to you as a self-motivated person you won’t really need to rely on others pushing you along.

To change how you view yourself, you need to make at first small changes to anchor that identity to your self-concept. For example, if you see yourself as a procrastinator person and want to become more productive, set a few small goals for you to hit one at a time over a period of time. As you achieve more, you gain confidence in your capabilities.

As you become more confident, you start to believe you can do what you’ve set out to do. Finally, the achievement and confidence help you become more of whom you wish to be.

Conclusion

As the saying goes “the only constant in life is change”. Our lives do not stay the same but often we stay in a rut knowingly because we resist change. Changes in life can occur from the minutiae like buying a new brand of sliced bread or it can be major like moving on from a bad relationship.

Change is not always beneficial to us but when initiated by us, it usually means that we are ready for something new. Whilst change in its novelty stage can be exciting, it is also scary. Now that you know why we resist change and how we can overcome that resistance, there is simply no reason left to be afraid.